Well...I am not sure what my problem is but I am having one of THOSE days. Explanation...I am overwhelmingly emotional...on the verge of tears...for absolutely no reason. No, it isn't my hormones. No, it isn't PMS...thank goodness I stopped having that over 2 years ago! Days like today don't happen very often, thank goodness. But when they do, I think too much. These are the days that I question why I am still alone after 10 years of being divorced. Why am I not good enough for someone? Where is my "someone special"? Am I that difficult to get along with? I really do want answers to these questions so feel free to send me comments or an email and give me your thoughts!
I was quite sure I had found "the one" but have recently been told by this person "I never really felt a connection with you". WOW! Really? Here is your Academy Award because you sure fooled me...and many others, as well. I guess I don't know what love looks like...maybe that is my problem. I have this image in my mind of how it is suppose to be and I can't seem to produce it in real life.
I want to make someone happy...I want them to worry about my happiness...I want to do things for someone and have them appreciate it...I want them to surprise me with little things...I want honesty...monogamy...laughter...I want someone to listen when I talk just like I listen when they talk. I guess maybe that is a pretty long list.
And as I write this all down...whining like a big baby...my brain starts yelling at me. "GET OVER YOURSELF, LAURA! You have a wonderful life...amazing children...great friends." And of course my brain is correct. I need to count my blessings and not worry about what I don't have.
Okay...complaining session over. Thanks for listening/reading.
